A Tribute to Don Tack Part 3: The Power of Modeling in Mentorship

A Prelude to UTM's August 1st Summer Lunch & Learn

When I married Sherilyn 29 years ago, I transitioned from doing homeless ministry at the Coit House to youth ministry. Sherilyn and I branched out to serve urban, disadvantaged kids in our neighborhood. Don continued to act as my mentor, although now from a distance. We maintained weekly conversations, either over the phone or in person, during which we delved into the complex and challenging situations we encountered in our programs, in our collaborations with neighborhood churches, and in our interactions with the students we served.

Don repeatedly emphasized the power of modeling, that much more is caught than officially taught, and it has profoundly impacted us to this day.

I was reminded of this during a recent conversation with Raydale, the site director of Bridge St. Ministries' Resurgent (middle-school) program in our neighborhood, which UTM partners with. Raydale grew up in UTM's programs and was mentored by me in his later high school and college years. Our conversation centered around Social Capital and how I was looking to teach the concept to their middle-school kids in one of their labs this coming year, and it went something like this.

Raydale: "Oh yeah, that would be on point. You taught me all about Social Capital when you mentored me."  

Me: "I did? How? I don't remember doing that. I didn't create any lessons on it until a few years ago."

Raydale: "You didn't have to. You mentioned it frequently in your own life. You talked about how you've leveraged your own social capital to raise funds for UTM. You talked about how almost every job you ever had came about because you built relationships of trust with the employer or someone who was good friends with the employer. That opportunities happen through building networks of relationships with people. Since you began talking about Social Capital, I've been leveraging it in my life at all the venues where I performed as a hip-hop artist and on the circuit as a motivational speaker.

Much of what Raydale learned from me, including developing social capital connections, wasn't the result of direct instruction but role modeling. It didn’t come through me creating a formal lesson that we went through together. Instead, all I did was share a part of my life.

Of course, modeling a Jesus-centered life at UTM goes way beyond building social capital. It's about following Jesus as our Lord, Savior, and example and walking alongside a person to help them follow Jesus and grow in all dimensions of their life (spiritually, emotionally, socially, educationally, economically, & vocationally) in Christ. That's why we encourage UTM staff and volunteers to invite those they mentor to their house to share a meal and be part of their family as part of life-on-life mentoring. It's about Modeling.

Furthermore, it's why UTM is beginning to intentionally form husband/wife mentoring teams to provide a supportive environment where fatherless youth are mentored by married couples. The experiences of observing a husband and wife healthily resolving conflicts, working together to care for their children and setting boundaries, or simply relationally interacting at the dinner table are unfamiliar to many of our students who grew up without a father. It's about Modeling. When fatherless youth experience a healthy mother-and-father family dynamic, it helps support and equip them with the necessary tools for success beyond their single-parent home experience. It's about Modeling.

Modeling a Christ-centered family home goes a long way, teaching those who grow up without a father to become Godly husbands and wives and create their own Christ-centered, healthy, intact families. Thank you, Don, for loving and modeling Jesus in your own life, marriage, and family. Thank you for your unwavering dedication to drawing our attention to what the Scriptures say about responding to the needs of the poor and oppressed as a vital aspect of what it means to follow Jesus. Thank you, Don, for modeling how to do redemptive ministry among the poor and fatherless without succumbing to mission drift away from the gospel.  

Click Here for “A Tribute to Don Tack Part 2

Click Here for “A Tribute to Don Tack Part 1